Former Chicago Bulls players as “Fast & Furious” characters

Charles Oakley – Luke Hobbs

Agent Luke Hobbs is the muscle of the “Fast & Furious” movies — both figuratively and literally. He’s the guy the U.S. Government sends in to hunt down the toughest criminals, and he’s also at least 683 pounds of pure muscle (this is a guess). He’s a tough guy. The type of guy that eats nails for breakfast.

Charles Oakley was that guy in the NBA. He didn’t care who you were. He was ready to fight at all times. Nobody went at Oak successfully — he always got the last word.

There’s a moment in “Fast Five” when Hobbs (played by Dwayne Johnson), says “give me the damn veggies,” meaning he’s ready to receive bad news. Two things:

1. This is a fantastic tough-guy movie line. It’s really about as good as it gets.
2. I like to think this is what Oak would mutter under his breath when he received a technical foul or got subbed out.

Luke Hobbs isn’t a great agent (he constantly gets bested by criminals) and Oakley wasn’t a sensational basketball player (I mean, he was good but he’s definitely not an all-time great). They both excelled in their roles as the tough guy, though. There’s no debating that.