Building the best hooper with attributes from Chicago Bulls players

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(Photo by Adam Glanzman/Getty Images)

If we took the best attributes from Chicago Bulls players and used them to create one mega player, what would that player look like?

It’s no secret that the Chicago Bulls aren’t very fun. They’re horrific on offense, they lose games and they seem to be stagnant in their development. Part of the problem is the team still doesn’t have that dynamic player that they can build around. Zach LaVine might be that guy eventually, but he isn’t there yet.

Since the Bulls don’t have a superstar, let’s have some fun and create one for them using attributes from different Bulls players.

The rules:

  • Each Bulls player can only have one attribute used in the created player.
  • Only current players are eligible.
  • Swag matters.

That’s it. Those are the only rules.


What’s the first thing you do when you have a kid? Assign the kid a name. (I actually don’t know — I don’t have any kids. But I’m assuming naming the kid is priority number one.) So let’s name our created player before we do anything else.

I was tempted to use Luke Kornet here, being that my name is Luke and everything, but there are cooler options. Denzel Valentine has one of the coolest names on the team, but since I can’t use players twice, I want to save Valentine for later.

So let’s go with a combination of Shaquille Harrison and Adam Mokoka. Our player’s name: Shaquille Mokoka.

This is perfect for two reasons: Shaquille Mokoka is objectively an amazing name, and we have no need for those guys later in the creation process.

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