Chicago Bulls Preseason Over/Under Predictions for Wade, Valentine

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Sep 26, 2016; Chicago, IL, USA; Chicago Bulls guard Jimmy Butler (21) center Robin Lopez (8) guard Rajon Rondo (9) and guard Dwayne Wade (3) pose for a photo during Bulls media day at The Advocate Center. Mandatory Credit: David Banks-USA TODAY Sports /

Robin Lopez Mascot Fights: 5

Lopez is known for his violence toward comically oversized jungle animals and livestock. The man lives by just one rule when it comes to mascots: There are no rules.

If I had to take a wild guess, I would assume that Lopez tries to end every mascot in sight during the 2016-17 season. He knows he is underpaid, on the NBA equivalent of a pirate ship between all the organizational chaos and the unique blend of factions and potential malcontents that the front office added or kept around from the previous coach’s time in charge.

It was always hard to see Lopez’s point of view because he would feud with the GOAT, Benny the Bull. Now that the real Benny is gone and Robin is here, time to start thinking about potential mascot fight matchups that we would like to see.

I didn’t even have to think about it. It’s King Cake Baby. I want Sideshow Rob to end King Cake Baby. That mascot isn’t natural, friendly, or safe. That thing of nightmares, living demon of Louisiana basketball needs to be banished to another dimension. There is no one better suited to completing this task than Lopez.

Next: Noah Feels Low Blow from Reinsdorf

Until he gets a shot at King Cake Baby, Lopez will need to be in training. No one knows when the Pelicans are going to open a portal and summon that creature from the netherrealm of neither here nor there. The day will come. While we wait, RoLo needs to fight every mascot forever.

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