If You Booz…You Lose!

Rob Grabowski-USA TODAY Sports

I sat down and watched the Bulls last night and learned some things. Number one, the Bulls are not that good. You have to score points to win at basketball and they frankly just don’t do that very well. Number two, Joakim Noah should go to his agent and look for a new contract. He won’t get it because Jerry Reinsdorf never, EVER renegotiates contracts. Ask Scottie Pippen if you don’t believe me. He deserves one because the offense grinds to a  serious halt when he does not play. DJ Augustin is playing well but he can’t make precise entry passes to save his life. Plus, Noah is the undisputed anchor to the Bulls defense. If he does not play this team can’t beat anybody over .500. Period. I am not lying. Finally, I owe Chicago Bulls fans and Pippen Peoples all over the world an apology. You guys are right. Carlos Boozer sucks.

Last month I wrote an article all about Carlos Boozer. It was heart-felt, in-depth, wrote it like a fan. Because I was. Last night he made me look like a jackass. At the time I couldn’t understand for the life of me, why Bulls fans gave him such a hard time and  why Coach Thibodeau always sat him down in crunch time. Until last night. This dude is LAZY. I know that is harsh considering everyone in the  NBA has to work some to be on a team. But for the talent and the physical gifts that Boozer has, he just does not get all he can out of his talents. As a fan of basketball, it’s annoying.

This is not a recap of last night’s game. For that, please click on my colleague Quentin Haynes’ article after reading this one. This is about a guy that could make a serious difference for this Chicago Bulls team if he really wanted to. As you read this, you are probably asking, why so rough? Carlos Boozer had 20 points and 14 rebounds. Sure, and the Bulls lost. Carlos Boozer couldn’t guard a Barbie doll with the Marines and Navy Seals behind him. Kevin Love went for 31 points last night. Cool. He’s an All-Star, that’s what he’s supposed to do. But Ronny Turiaf? Ronny Turiaf! A journeyman who changes teams like we change underwear Ronny Turiaf. You let this guy score 14 points, which by the way is the most points he has scored in three years. That was at least two teams ago when he was with the Knicks. He came into this game averaging 2.3 points for the season. Look I know Joakim Noah was out, but really Booz. Come on man. You can’t stop this guy? Taj Gibson played as an undersized center last night. He showed heart. Where was yours? Nazr Mohammed is 54 years old. If he’s not 54, he sure plays like it. What’s your excuse? It took me about a month, but the way you miss defensive rotations, not get there late, but miss rotations is almost comical. How long have you been in Chicago? You haven’t figured out the defensive schemes yet?

Let’s talk about your offense. Yes, you got 20 points. You got them with an inefficient 24 shots. It’s like I got your game down to a  science. You either stay at the elbow (pick one, I don’t care) and shoot that high arcing jump shot that either falls straight through or falls short. Everyone knows when it’s short because you scream “get in there” like you expect it to go in. Well, it didn’t last night. Then if that’s not an option you drive straight to the basket and yell hey, praying for A) the ball to go through or B) a foul call. You remind me of that guy at  the YMCA that looks at a glance like if you pick him on your team, you’ll be playing all day long. Problem is you don’t  figure out he’s the problem until game point.

Carlos, you are perfect for the Miami Heat. Not because of your talent, but because you are a  “pretty” basketball player. You actually have the coolest run back down the court in the NBA. It’s  like you practice it. You want to look good on the basketball court, so you lift weights. It’s definitely not because you want to get strong and defend in the post. Here’s a thought, ask for a trade to Miami for Chris Bosh. Then everybody will be happy. Bosh will be happy because he’s not a third fiddle anymore. The fans will be happy because at least he tries at some point in games to play defense. Couple that with the fact he can actually shoot, we’ll all be thrilled in Chicago. You’ll be happy, because you’ll have at least one year to fool people down there that you actually pretend to play defense. The fans in Chicago have figured you out a long time ago. Unfortunately last night, so have I.