Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

Joakim Noah...How I Spent My Weekend In DC!

Hey Pippen Peoples, let me take you back to your early days. Do you remember the days when we were in school and the teacher would assign the class a report on what you did for the summer? You know, I went swimming or I went to Grandma’s for the summer, I played baseball with my friends. You guys remember right. Then you had to read your report in front of the class. Man I used to hate that. (I know what some of you are thinking…How can a dude  that talks this much trash on the internet about basketball be afraid of public speaking?)  Well as of this writing the Chicago Bulls got run back to the United Center in Chicago losing to the Washington Wizards 98-89. Don’t let the score fool you, this was a beat down. The Bulls had no chance. This was not going to happen. For the recap of this game, please check out Ashley Wijangco’s piece on Pippen Ain’t Easy the best choice for Bulls news, previews and reviews. As always it’s a well written and informative. I’m going to shine the light on our NEW Defensive Player of the Year…Joakim Noah. Let’s set the scene shall we?


Welcome back students! I’m Mr. Agers. It’s good to see you back in the United Center again. Now we all know our assignments. We were supposed to write a report on what we did while you were in Washington DC. Any volunteers? How about you Joakim? Come on! We all are very excited to hear what you did.

Joakim walks to the front of the room in the United Center and starts reading…Here’s what I did in DC…

I got into a shouting match with Washington Wizards security.

According to Joe Cowley of the Chicago Sun Times, Joakim Noah got into a shouting match with the Washington Wizards security manager at the morning shoot around on Friday. I mean you can’t make this stuff up. Jackie Miles tried to remove Noah from the court so the Wizards could start their shoot around. I guess Noah wasn’t finished with his workout (based on his performance in the first two games going against Nene, he needed all the work he could get.) I guess Mr. Miles didn’t ask kindly enough. According to Joe Cowley of the Times ( I swear if I reported this you’d think I was lying) here’s what was said…


“Get the [bleep] out of here, I’m not done…get the [bleep] out of here.”


“Don’t [bleeping] talk to me that way,” and told him again to leave the court.

They both went back and forth while Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau was addressing the media off the court. Obviously trying to convince everyone that his substitution patterns and offensive schemes make sense and actually work. Did it work you ask? Well we’ll just have to see.

Believe it or not Noah got to finish his workout. It seems that  Jackie Miles did watch Noah’s two performances on cable.

I was a witness to Nene being suspended.

That’s all he did in Game three. Bottom line he stunk. Noah scored  six points and grabbed nine rebounds while in foul trouble most of the night. He shot 2-4 from the field and 2-6 from the line. Umm, I think he is going to need more work at the next shoot around. Don’t worry Joakim, I’m texting Mr. Miles now…

I almost slandered Nene mouthing “Roid Rage” after talking trash after Nene was ejected when Game three was over.

According to The Washington Post (This is so ridiculous that I’m glad I’m crediting these sources) Joakim Noah was laughing and joking after Nene got tossed trying to put  Jimmy Butler in the MMA octagon after a layup with about eight minutes left in Game three. He looked so happy (try relieved) going to the press room stating “Looks like you’re going to lose Nene for a game,” “What a bummer [stinks] for you guys.” Then he mouthed “Roid Rage.”

Really, Joakim? What’s up with you? It’s enough that Nene had you out in front of the White House selling incense after putting a whipping on you in Chicago. It’s another thing that Nene was still getting the best of you in Game three. But it’s another to show obvious weakness by talking trash when your team is behind 2-1 at the time of you basically slandering a player latching his name with steroids. Come on Noah, you are better than that. come to think about, it  maybe you really do believe Nene’s taking steroids based on how he took the Defensive Player of the Year trophy and smashed it on your head based on how Nene has outplayed you the entire series.

After acting a fool and talking trash, The Washington Wizards still beat my team in Game four.

Joakim Noah had to be the most relieved dude on the floor in Game four. Without Nene life really must be sad for the Wizards. Or so he thought. The Wizards now have a 3-1 lead going back to Chicago. I wonder what he was thinking when the Wizards went on a  14-0 run to start the game? Where’s Nene perhaps? Joakim Noah showed his character a little bit in this series. He must be embarrassed after Nene gave him the business throughout the first round. So while he sat. Marcin Gortat went off for 17 points six rebounds and five assists. Oh by the way, all of the shots that Nene was supposed to take went to Trevor Ariza who seemed to hit them all scoring 30 points while shooting 6-10 from the three-point line. Umm, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Nene would not have hit six threes. Just sayin.

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