Marquis Teague! Bye Homie!

Debby Wong-USA TODAY Sports

Uh, I guess I’m not going to get that Orlando Woolridge jersey now huh? Well Marquis, you got traded to Brooklyn. I know I told you in my article that you might get traded, but I really thought the Bulls were going to keep you. Guess I was wrong. Sorry about that. But, here’s the good thing! The Nets really do not know how bad…I mean how much upside you have to your game. The Nets don’t know you can’t guard …I mean how much room for improvement you have for your defensive skills. Sometimes, players need a fresh start on a new team. Well Brooklyn is for you. It’s the graveyard…I mean a safe haven for players from other teams. I mean look at Kevin Garnett. He just looks like a man that is ready to retire…I mean expand his horizons and pursue other interests. Take Jason Terry aka the single-engine plane. Since coming to Brooklyn he looks like a crashed jet. Deron Williams has been in a walking boot for so long he should have his own line of walking boots for people with sprained ankles.

What I’m saying is this. Here’s your chance to prove everyone wrong and me right. (Then I can get that jersey right?) You go to Brooklyn and work hard, just like we talked about. Jason Kidd can’t coach but he can tell you war stories of his 19  years in the league. Sit down and listen. Trust me, nobody else is. Brown nosing has never hurt nobody. Especially when you are shooting 24 % for the season. Furthermore Jason Kidd was known as Ason Kidd for years because he had no “J”. Man you are in a perfect place to learn from a point guard that can’t shoot. Plus, both you can work on the fake knocking the drink out my hand gig during timeouts. Tyshawn didn’t get the story down right at the press conference. See where I’m getting at? There’s room for you here.

Marquis, you are now in a position where you have no pressure. Shawn Livingston has been ballin out so you do not have to worry about starting. The Nets have a bigger frontline, albeit older, not as nimble, not sure about a defensive scheme frontline. But a bigger frontline nonetheless. Plus if you get confused you can always go to the broom closet and talk to Lawrence Frank and check on how you are doing with the daily reports he’s responsible for. Up here in Chicago, maybe things were going a little too fast for you. Tom Thibodeau seems to have a clue on how a team should be run. He may have realized that you stunk…uh, needed work. With Jason Kidd, who couldn’t direct one way traffic with a road map and everyone going in the right direction, you might can convince him you are a player in this league. (Then you can send me that jersey, remember XXL.)

In closing, I don’t want you to think I’m throwing you out in the ocean with no boat. So I’m going to tell you this. You might be waived by the end of the week. By the Nets. But look on the bright side, you actually have time to say goodbye to your teammates AND get to sit the bench AND watch a free NBA game AND wear Bulls gear on Tuesday. Kind of like a parting gift from the team. Now I know people are probably glad you are gone. I know there are people that think you are stealing a roster spot. Marquis, I believe you can do it, so go out and do it!

So I can get that jersey.