The Chicago Bulls will hold their official media day tomorrow, thus marking the official start of the 2013-14 NBA season. Media Day is one of those things that exists almost entirely to obscure the reality of the situation. It’s 99 percent public relations and 1 percent narrative generated by the media. But it’s still exciting if for no other reason than it’s been more than two months since anything meaningful happened in the NBA as a whole and with the Bulls specifically.
With that in mind, here’s what you should expect to hear at/after tomorrow’s Media Day:
1. Everybody and their brother will be asked every possible question about Derrick Rose, including — no, especially — Rose himself.
I’d hoped that my use of the cliche “everybody and their brother” would end up being accurate, given that Carlos Boozer’s brother Charles Boozer played for the Bulls’ summer league team, but he does not appear to have been invited to training camp. Alas. Anyway, less than a week after his party at the United Center, and nearly 17 months since his last appearance in an NBA game, Derrick Rose will unquestionably be the center of attention. And everyone else will get caught in the metaphorical hurricane.
“Hey, [other Bulls player], what does it mean to have Derrick back?” “Hey, [recently acquired player], are you excited to play with Derrick Rose this year?*” You get the idea.
*Bonus points here if talking to Nazr Mohammed or Marquis Teague, since they had to slog through their first season in Chicago without Rose.
2. “[X Bulls Player] is in the best shape of his life/lost x pounds/added y pounds of muscle/has been replaced by a Terminator.**”
I’m guessing that this will come up mainly in relation to Carlos Boozer, since it definitely came up with him last season and possibly in years prior to that. But really, it could be anyone. Taj Gibson, Nazr Mohammed and Kirk Hinrich all strike me as solid candidates, and you could throw Luol Deng in there after his experience with his spinal tap back in May.
**OK, yes, that probably won’t come up.
3. ”Tom Thibodeau needs to do a better job managing [Joakim Noah/Luol Deng/Jimmy Butler]‘s minutes.”
Since this is actually true, to a large extent, I’m not going to say much about it here. But there is no doubt you will hear about it elsewhere.
4. Something something Thibs’ defense is complex something something
Mike Dunleavy, Tony Snell and/or Erik Murphy definitely will be asked about whether they anticipate having difficulty picking up the nuances of Thibs’ scheme.
5. [Insert meaningless drivel which nobody cares about here]
This is the essence of Media Day, right here. Maybe this year it will be Derrick Rose’s insistence on not recruiting other players. Or maybe we’ll get to hear about the so-called 2014 plan. Or maybe we’ll even hear about Jimmy Butler supporting the Chicago Sky!
Yeah, you’re right. That won’t happen. But I can dream, right?
33 days, folks.
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